There are many situations involving speaking. As English is not our first language, I would categorise speaking into two main situations: pressure situation and non-pressure situation.
A non-pressure situation includes daily conversations and interactions that we could find and create by ourselves.
We speak while we are relaxed and comfortable, there is no risk or judgement involved in what we say or how we say it. Interestingly, we may not concern as much if our listeners don't pay full attention in what we say.
Such as when we speak English with family and friends at home or at school just to have fun, more or less like making jokes. In those situations, we do not worry if our listeners would try to catch our mistakes or would laugh at us if we say things wrong. In most cases, our speech isn’t very long, until the other person steps in to reply.
A non-pressure situation would involve a small group of participants that anyone can take the role of speaker. Example situations, hanging-out in a restaurant with a group of friends or having a family gathering at home. This kind of speaking is very easy for us regardless of your confidence, and even if you have much you can easily build it up.
On the other hand, speaking in a pressure situation involves objectives, expectation and results. We put ourselves in a pressure situation because we want something out of it.
For example Mr. Somboon is going to ask his American girlfriend to marry him,
Mr. Somboon put himself in a pressure situation because he wants his girlfriend to be his wife and he wants her to say ‘Yes’.
Although the location of speaking doesn’t seem to be stressful to other customers, but to Mr. Somboon, it is stressful.
Another obvious situation is when Mr. Somboon has to give a presentation in front of his boss and colleagues at work. This example, Mr. Somboon may not want to to be in the situation, but the environment forces him to.
To give a serious talk in a foreign language, in front of people who may like or may not like you, is double the pressure. Sometimes, we can’t avoid this, like when you have to give a presentation before your classmates, otherwise you will fail the subject.
When a situation like this occurs, we will be more conscious of what we say and how to say it. Moreover, we will be thinking if the listeners would like what we are going to say because we expect some results from it.
If Mr. Somboon is a shy gentleman, he might not be able to succeed. What he needs is confidence, of course the right attitude is what he needs in order to create confidence.
Some people could do it by themselves, but some might not. This is when a coach like myself and other language coaches come into play.
Next time, I will tell you about my tips on how I grow my confidence in speaking English…
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